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Once my mum asked to define and give a title to the different chapters of my life. On the spot I could clearly picture the 4 main one:
“The
run” in 1999, when I was 3yo, I was diagnosed with Diabetes T1. I remember
I was home and one second after I was on the shoulder of my mum, running in a
corridor, a long white corridor with a bright light at the end, holding
something in my hand. A long line. I always thought it was the rope of a
balloon, but it was a flebo I had connected on my arm, next to the nurse
running with us pushing the flebo stand. I remember I was in the hospital bed,
and I was so hungry. The nurses did not want to give me any food but after
complaining I managed to get half a banana. The best half banana of my life.
Days passed fast, without many memories, but I remember my uncle passed by one
evening and gave me a present. A barbie that was doing gymnastics. I think it
was rowing, a barbie on a rowing machine. I absolutely loved it; the barbie was
even making sounds that were making me laugh so bad, as I was supposed to be
quiet on a dark night in a hospital room, but I was breaking the rules and that
was funny enough. Turned out to be one of the nights of my life where I laugh
the most with the least.
“Tears of independency”
“Sur
le pont d'Avignon l'on y danse, l'on y danse Sur le pont
d'Avignon l'on y danse tous en rond”
On
the bus headed to Avignon for a middle school trip for a week, we were singing
this French song. I was by the window next to my best friend of the time. All
the parents were looking at us from below, waving their hands and sending
kisses, some of them almost crying.
The
French teacher took the bus microphone and started reminding us what a
beautiful week ahead of us was going to come. The most important part was that
we were free from our parents! Everyone on the bus started shouting with joy
and clapping hands. Everyone except for me, my mum was on the bus, and she was
going to support the teacher dealing with me and diabetes for the full trip. At
the time, I was fully independent, I was able to measure my glucose and inject
insulin, taking the decisions on the amounts. On that bus, I turned around
towards the window and a couple of tears fell from my eyes. Tears of
independence. I remember thinking how stupid I was, I should be happy my mum
was there, she did it for me, right? Later, I understood she also did it for
herself, for the teachers and for me. Later I also understood that being a
parent is one of the hardest things in life, and there is not a right or wrong
way to be. Although, this moment started my chapter of looking for freedom,
trust and Independency.
“Can’t Stop Eating”
My grandparents passed away, they meant a lot to me as I was seeing them every day, spending summer and winter holiday together. A solid brick of my house foundation was collapsing. A big earthquake destroyed my family creating a chain of events. After such a tragedy like an earthquake, you need to deal with the consequences. The house was destroyed, and we needed to work together to build it again or compromise to find a new one, maybe less big or perfect; just different. Many mistakes were made, many wounds were opened, and the result was that the four of us found a new separate and different house. After two years of suffering and therapy, during which I was looking for support and answers; “how can I stop my compulsive eating behavior? How can I find myself again and the joy of life? How can I stop hating parents for how they behaved with me?” something in my mind switched. Diabetes was just too much; life was just too much and resulted in an eating disorder behavior that was heavily affecting my mental health and my diabetes management. I did not find the support I needed in my family, but it turned out to be a big learning moment, where I found my own answers, strategies and will power to change my life.
“Rolling Hills”
In Amsterdam I found friends, love, and a house with a stable job. In Amsterdam I discovered my passions, triathlon, nutrition and helping others. Today my life is up and down, a sea of stability and a storm of challenges, like biking on rolling hills. Today, I can stop and look back at how many steep hills I climbed already, and I can enjoy the view of the beautiful ones coming on my way, with a blue sky.
Closure
As my dear blogger "The Curious Diabetic" said: Type 1 diabetes can be seen as a curse or a blessing, the perspective we choose determines the type of life we get to live. We can accept what life throws at us and make the most of it, or try to resist it and hope for as less suffering as possible in the struggle.
Myself and lots of others chose to accept diabetes as an ally and
a friend. And what an amazing friendship so far!
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To know more about my challenges and my day to day diabetes management
- glucofit360
- elecampagnoli
- Contact: campagnolieleonora95@gmail.com
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